Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
