We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
