It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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