She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
