Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
