we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
