I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
