I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
