A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize