Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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