dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
