I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
