and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
