I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
organizing the empties. That sober.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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