I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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