Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
