We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
