help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
