i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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