therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
