Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
