Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
