dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
