In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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