You made me cry and you don't even care
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
