i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
