we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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