so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
