No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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