So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i out mim tonsoeep
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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