Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Found your dick twin last night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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