Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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