We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
