my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
