she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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