So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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