Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
