I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he thought i was a dude.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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