Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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