I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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