It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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