it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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