hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
