So drunk, too bad you don't want this
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
