I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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