So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
