I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
