just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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