i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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