Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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