My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
