some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
