you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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