He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i barfeds in our rink
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize