I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
