just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
