And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
