I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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