I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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