wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize